#953 Quit thinking you are the only one with fears

I love following innovative people who are willing to be vulnerable enough to open up and discuss the things that make them figuratively crap their pants-at least I hope it is figurative because I just can’t follow a diaper wearing guru.  I’m sorry, I just can’t.

And I get really frustrated with people who don’t because they love to throw out cliches about success while never acknowledging the fears and challenges they constantly must work to overcome.

It’s not congruent with how successful endeavours are achieved and worse, it makes “ordinary” individuals think there is something wrong with them because they have a boatload of fears and insecurities.

Here is the scoop folks.  Everyone has fears and insecurities.  Seth Godin has them.  Tony Robbins has them.  Oprah has them.  Dr. Phil has them.

We all have them.  It could be a fear of heights (acrophobia) , a fear of spiders (arachnophobia),  a fear of flying (aerophobia), or a fear of big ass floppy footed clowns (bozophobia-actually that is my non-medical term.  It’s actually called coulrophobia).

As a complete aside to all this, check out this humourous ordeal of how Angela Lussier tried to conquer her fear of heights.  Click here.  It’s an honest and realistic talk about the realities of trying to come to grips with our fears.

And I have fears too.  Truthfully, my fears can’t be packaged into one nice neat tidy label as the specific ones listed above. In fact, mine are much more general.  I fear anything that scares the shit out of me.  I guess you could say I am a phobophobic. I have a fear of fear.

I fear therefore I am…

I fear getting stuck on a 10 hour flight with a neighbour who won’t shut up even when I have pretended to fall asleep (accompanied by a fake snore and drooling).

I fear I am too old.

I fear I am too young.

I fear I don’t know enough.

I fear exiting a public unisex washroom after someone before me has released their weapons of mass olfactory destruction.  Walking out while holding my breath only to see my “potential” soul mate waiting to go in is devastating because I know they will think that tsunami of stink was my doing.

I fear the day I may have to make the decision to put my pets down.

I fear I am a good dancer when in fact, it looks more like I am having a slight seizure.

I fear forgetting the name of someone I know really well.  True story, but I once forgot the name of someone I lived with for an entire year while in university.  It’s like forgetting your girlfriend or boyfriend’s name after a year of going out.  Who wins when you have to say, “I’m sorry, I forgot your name?”

I fear losing my wallet and then going through the process of canceling all my cards only to discover it was in my back pocket.

I fear having to ask someone their name 30 seconds after they just told me what it was.

I fear that I am the only one who doesn’t understand what everyone else seems to.

I fear I will get to heaven and God will say, “Dude, who the hell are you?”

I fear answering the phone and having someone say, “Hi Mrs. Dwyer.  Do you have a moment?”  (This fear has already been realized once sadly.)

I fear blowing someone’s surprise party-AGAIN!

I fear people will think, “Who the hell are you to think you can be talking about these things?”  (note:  the word “things” can be anything I think I am an expert in.)

I fear I am not as good as I think I am.

I fear when it’s time to exit this world I will regret not having taken more risks and making a bigger impact on the world.

I fear I will forget I am not at home and get caught by a group of strangers eating food I just have dropped on the floor.

I fear I will be talking to a large group of people who are laughing at all my jokes, only to discover later my fly was open.  What were they laughing at?

I fear missing great opportunities because fear makes me rationalize why I shouldn’t pursue them.

I fear that my lack of health choices now will come back to haunt me later in life.

I fear that I will always want more without being able to enjoy what I currently have.

I fear waving at someone who has waved at me only to discover they were waving to someone behind me.

I fear being mistaken for someone else-this has happened twice and both times I had to produce ID to prove I was not who they thought I was.  They were so disappointed.

I fear all those things I say I will do tomorrow never happen because tomorrow doesn’t come.

I fear I will say or do something that negatively shapes someone for a lifetime.

I fear that someone will pass away before I have had the chance to tell them how much I love them.

I fear I am not the best me I can be.

I fear what I don’t know about me that others do.

I fear that friends only set me up with their “friends” because they no longer want to be friends with that person.

I fear that when the chips are down I will discover I am not who I thought I was.

I fear picking out some awesome clothes only to discover I was in the woman’s section.

*****

You know what?  Fear is something we all have in great quantity.  Quit thinking you are the only with fears.  You are not alone my friend.

To an idea really worth quitting,

Dean

ps…If you feel so inclined, what are some of the things you fear?