Think about all the bad advice you have received over the years. I know I have had some whoppers like the time back in high school where a buddy told me to ask this girl I “loved” to dance. His advice: “The worst she can say is no.”
It sounded logical so I bounded over to this girl who was in the midst of a rather intimate talk with some other dude. I tapped her on the shoulder, and when she turned, I pasted on my best smile and asked, “Would you like to dance?” She gave me that look you get when you put something in your mouth that tastes like smelly feet before she promptly returned to her conversation.
Ouch! I didn’t see that coming. What’s worse than “No”? I will tell you what. NO response, that’s what!!
My point? One of our greatest oversights in life is asking the wrong people for advice (or in my case accepting advice from the wrong people).
As a cardinal rule, bitter divorced people should not be consulted when you are in the midst of a marital crisis, ultra-conservative people should never be sought out when you are looking to create something truly creative and cutting edge and anyone who works for the “man” should never ever be confided in when you are looking to venture out and start your own business.
It makes a tremendous amount of sense when you think about. It would be like Gandhi asking Darth Vader for advice on how to liberate India from the English.
Imagine that conversation.
Gandhi: So I want to free the people of India from the English rule that is crushing them. Any suggestions?
Darth Vader: Well for starters lose the white linen rags you are wearing. I have curtains on the Death Star that look more menacing then that getup you are wearing. Honestly, you look like a malnourished non-scarecrow.
Gandhi: But white promotes peace.
Darth Vader: Exactly my point. You want a gloomy Sleepy Hallow goth kinda look.
Gandhi: You think?
Darth Vader: G. you need something that screams out “I’m mad, I’m bad and our liberation ain’t no fad!”, but also something that the chicks will dig. I’m partial to the all black look as you can see. What about a fedora, a cape, some boots, and say, a cane?
Gandhi: Darth I’m looking to liberate the country, not pimp it out.
Darth Vader: Fair enough. What about weapons? How are you with a life saber?
Gandhi: You are missing the point here. I am not looking to become some Yoda-like ninja. I was thinking along the lines of something non-violent.
Darth Vader: So are you saying killing the English is not an option?
Gandhi: Seriously, what does non-violent mean to you?
Darth Vader: Well remember I am captain of the Death Star, with the key word being DEATH. Think Green Peace gone wild– and evil.
Gandhi: Yeah well I am more Harry Potter-well with the glasses anyhow-gone Oprah.
Darth Vader: Wow! That’s just weird. OK here is something that might work. What about non-violent death? You may or may not be aware, but “the force” is with me. I could kill them with a thought you know. No blood, no gaping wounds, no scars.
Gandhi: With a thought?
Darth Vader: Yeah, it’s pretty cool.
Gandhi: Any thought?
Darth Vader: What? Well no stupid, not any thought. It has to be a death related thought. You know a, “You must die now” kind of thought. If I am thinking I have to go to the washroom, no one is going to die. Well, unless it is occupied when I get there and the dude is taking forever. Then he will have to die with a thought because I hate people who dilly dally in the loo. You know what I am saying. Do your business and get the hell out of there.
Gandhi: I’m with ya on that one bro’. So death by thought. Well let me give that some thought. Ha! Ha! Get it?
Darth Vader: Good one! You’re killing me! Ha! Ha! Get it?
So here’s the point: (I know, you are thinking, “There is a point?” There is my friends and here it is.)
Confide only in those who are achieving what you want in any particular aspect of life you are struggling with.
If you need relationship advice, confide in those who have a great relationship or have a healthy outlook on relationships in general. If you need career advice, confide in someone who has taken a path that you are interested in pursuing or has an expertise in that area.
Believe me, you will achieve far more in life and be far happier when you learn to properly identify the right individuals to consult with for specific problem areas in your life.
So for crying out loud, quit asking the wrong people for advice.
To an idea worth quitting,
Dean
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