#964 Quit underestimating the wisdom of kids

by Dean Dwyer on January 6, 2010 · Comments

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It was a beautiful sunny day, on December 26th, 2004 as tourists flocked to one of the local beaches in Thailand to bask in what, to this point, was a gorgeous day.

Suddenly, without warning, the tide quickly rushed out.  This was not an ordinary occurrence.  Unsuspecting fish were left flopping on the sand, while boats out on the horizon bobbed up and down in a manner none had ever seen before.

As people gathered to observe this strange phenomenon, one 10 year old girl from England named Tilly Smith  pulled her parents aside and told them she thought a Tsunami was coming.

You see, she had studied Tsunamis in school two weeks earlier.  Her teacher had even showed them video footage of a Hawaii Tsunami, so she knew the warning signs and desperately urged her parents to leave the beach.

Fortunately, her parents listened to her.  They frantically warned others on the beach to seek refuge on higher ground.  They ran back to the Marriott Hotel where they were staying and informed the staff, who promptly evacuated all remaining guests on the premises.

Miraculously, this was one of the rare beaches where no one was killed or seriously injured in that deadly Tsunami that hit Thailand and a number of other countries a little over 5 years ago.

[Note: tsunami story was obtained from Amanda Ripley's great book, "The Unthinkable-Who Survives When Disaster Strikes and Why"]

What impresses me most about the story above, is the willingness of the parents to listen do their daughter.  Far too often kids are dismissed simply because they are kids.  Somehow we have been conditioned to think there is nothing they can teach us.

But kids have a rare gift that we no longer possess.  They can still see the world for what it is.  They have not yet been infiltrated with the crap that the rest of us have bought into. They are not jaded by what can and can’t be done, but more importantly, they don’t over-think the shit out of everything.

There is a lot we can learn from kids that we have long forgotten.  Just watch and see for yourself.

  • They will smile and say hello to that homeless person on the street corner we so desperately attempt to avoid.
  • They don’t think twice about saying something is stupid.
  • They laugh at life’s smallest pleasures, like farting in public.
  • They will create their own language to capture what they are trying to say…not many of my adult friends dare call me a dumb dumb poo poo head.
  • They don’t ever have a bad hair day because they don’t care.
  • They don’t give a rat’s ass if their clothes don’t match.  They wear what they like and screw the rest of you if you don’t like it.
  • They doll out hugs and kisses to almost anyone who asks.
  • They aren’t afraid of looking stupid and won’t hesitate to ask “Why” 43 times if you haven’t given them an answer that makes sense.
  • When they are pissed off they will let you and anyone else within a 1 mile radius know about it.
  • They will proudly wear those Cheezies they just ate on their face, in their teeth, all over both hands and on their clothes.
  • They sleep when they are tired, whether that is in a car seat, a wagon, or in mommy or daddy’s arms.
  • They don’t hesitate to tell the truth (You’re a big fatso daddy).
  • They will make their own fun even if they have to make up a few imaginary friends to bring to the party.
  • They are expert artists, actors, dancers and singers and will put on their own exhibitions to anyone who is willing to attend.
  • They will stop and listen to a street performer trying to earn a few bucks to get their next meal.
  • They never use the word hate.
  • They trust us completely.
    • Where does my tooth go when it falls out.  The tooth fairy.
    • Who brings these gifts I got?  Santa Claus.
    • Where did all these chocolates come from?  The Easter Bunny.
    • Who farted?  Oh that was grandma (it wasn’t, but neither they nor grandmas is going to know).
  • They don’t care who is watching when they decide to do some serious nose construction to dig out that booger that is lodged in their nasal cavity.  And if you are lucky, they might even show it to you.

OK, so most kids may not save your life with their wisdom (but never say never), but if you open your mind up just a crack and give them a chance, they just might change it.  As a fellow blogger (Hilary) told me, “I feel so humbled by my children.”

So wake up and quit underestimating the wisdom of kids.

To an idea worth quitting,

Dean

Question:  What is the greatest lesson your kid (or any kid for that matter) has taught you?  See one of mine in the comment section below.

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  • Sofy
    Hi Dean,
    Another good one. I learn something from my own kids every day, usually something about myself. Whether its my inherent lack of patience, wow, I really should have gone to bed earlier last night, or my poor listening skills, I'm always astonished at what they make me consider about my own behaviours. Interestingly, though, my biggest child related lesson comes from my professional life. It was several years ago when it happened and it left a profound impact on my life. I was part of a team caring for a dying infant. The parents had been told that the prognosis was poor and they had said their "goodbyes" and had left. To them, their infant had already passed away yet, medically speaking, was not clinically dead i.e. still had a heartbeat and an occasional breath. The infant had been placed back in their crib while the formalities of dying were attended to. Needless to say, it wasn't the death I would have wanted for my own child so I picked them up, found a rocking chair, and rocked them until their heart stopped beating. There is a distinct moment between life and death and this event usually puts things in perspective for me in terms of my priorities and where they should be when I'm feeling overwhelmed with life. for
  • I actually have tears in my eyes. What a profoundly sad story. I could not even possibly imagine what it would be like to hold a child that literally passes away in my arms, but no one should ever depart feeling alone or unloved. You are a saint in my book and I thank you for making a difference with one little soul who needed someone.
  • Helen
    Your words are so true. I am a grandma and it took 50 years for me to see what children see. I wish it has happened sooner like 50 years ago. But we are never too old to learn from our children and especially our grandchildren.

    I love your blog

    Love Aunt Helen
  • hillary13
    Hi Dean,

    Great post. The same thing struck me about that story--her parents actually listened to her! We tend to hush up kids thinking they are full of jumble bumble.

    I want to add to your list:

    Kids sometimes won't hug and kiss people they don't feel comfortable with. We as parents insist that they go give random Aunt Ethel a big smooch and no way will they step near her. Rude, or honoring their own comfort levels?

    Biggest thing I've learned from kids: fearlessness. Even if they are fearful they are fearless in honoring that.
  • lol...I have to laugh because it makes me think of people who make their kids hug me or call me uncle Dean. I don't make any0ne huge me unless they want to and I make sure to clarify that I am "fake" uncle Dean.

    Damn! I love the fearless one. That should probably be my number one point.
  • One of the greatest lessons I ever got was on the value of gratitude from a group of grade 6 students. Back in the early 90's I taught in Colombia for two years. When I left, 5 girls I had taught were kind enough to give me a video. On the video they each had recorded a thank you for what they felt I had done for them as students and as people. It was quite moving. In fact, it blew me away. I still have that video, but more importantly it taught me the impact a well crafted expression of gratitude can have on someone.

    Simply saying thank you is not enough. Those are quickly forgotten. But when people take the time to send an email, write a letter, give a card or create a video thanking someone for something they have done, well that is the stuff lives for eternity because you can return to it time and again.
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