I had this moment. You can probably relate to this as you may have had this moment yourself. I was sitting on my couch reading when I suddenly felt a wave of warmth wash over me. For a split second my mind let out that relaxing sigh where a sense of calm and peace was felt.
But as quickly as the moment came upon me, it vanished. It was then that my mind realized what had just happened.
My rabbit, a rescue I have had for the past 4 years, had leaped up onto the couch to check out the goings on. Totally engrossed in my book I hadn’t realized he had backed up his rear caboose (he makes no beeping sound when he is in reverse) until it was flush with my hip and then proceeded to pee on me.
The Culprit
It took about 30 seconds before the pee managed to work it’s way through my denim fibers and meet the resistance-my skin. It was at this point that I came to the realization of what had just transpired.
If all hell broke loose…
Typically, I would have over-reacted to some degree or another. Usually this consists of me angrily going over the list of rules we have established for his pee zone (I am not included on that list it should be noted).
However, I didn’t do that yesterday.
In fact, I hardly reacted at all. I simply got up, put los bubblitos (his name is Bubbles) outside, and quickly went about cleaning up the mess. Once done, I changed and continued reading without giving a second thought to the whole incident.
I would like to say I handle all unexpected events this way, but truthfully, I don’t. What I have noticed though, is that I have become much better at handling the unexpected that comes my way.
Translation: I have become much more adept at choosing my battles.
Beware of battle…
While I don’t like the word battle, due to its negative connotation, the reality is there are always going to be ones that arise with some degree of regularity.
It’s a question however of where we want to be placing our energy. Sure I could have flipped out yesterday and been really upset about being peed on, but in truth, after my initial shock, I actually laughed. How often can I say I have been peed on?
I mean really, what am I going to do about it? It’s not like the little critter consciously planned this out (Side note: if I do find a secret to-do list where he did plan this, then my tune will definitely change).
He is a rabbit. Stuff is going to happen. That comes with the territory. It’s the same with kids, spouses, employees and people in general.
Making better choices…
We all have a choice of how we are going to use our energy. We can burn it all up being angry over something that means nothing in the big scheme of things, or we can simply not react at all; choose not to fight this battle and keep the energy we do have and channel it towards something more meaningful, positive and productive.
The reality is we face these scenarios on a daily basis, whether we are a parent, a spouse or significant other, a son or daughter, a teacher, a student, an employee, an employer, a driver, a customer or a participant of everyday life.
The child warrior…
I once saw Barbara Coloroso speak at a conference. She is the author of several books, including Kids are Worth It. She was talking about this very idea, however her battles were with her kids.
As most parents are apt to do, she wanted control over much of what her children did, what they wore, what their room looked like, how their hair should be cut etc.
She eventually discovered though that her parenting world became exponentially easier when she stopped trying to do battle over those areas where her children’s decisions were not going to put them in physical danger or harm.
So if her son wanted blue hair (he did), then she relented, because in the end, while she didn’t want him to have blue hair, the stark truth was, blue hair was not going to endanger him.
By choosing to not go to battle in this area she improved their relationship (because he was now a contributing part) and saved her energy for those battles where questionable decisions could put him in danger like drinking and driving, sex or experimentation with recreational drugs.
Learn to fight the good fight…
So know that today you are going to be put to the test.
Someone somewhere is going to draw their sword and challenge you to do battle. It might be that rude customer service representative, it might be that guy who is trying to merge ahead of the pack in heavy traffic, it might be that husband who left his socks and undies on the floor again or it might be that son or daughter who is looking to get another body part pierced.
But you will be challenged. You just need to quit fighting the wrong battles and put the energy you save towards those that have the most significant contribution.
To an idea worth quitting,
Dean
*****
Dean Dwyer (that’s me) is on a mission to get people to quit the sh*t that is holding them back from being that person they desire to be and doing the work they desire to do. If you are seeing his work for the first time, why not subscribe and forward this to someone who could benefit from what he has to say. He does promise that if you meet him in person he will not talk to you in the third person.
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