I remember this conversation like it was yesterday, even though it took place back in 1988. (Yikes! How old am I?) I was in the final year of my undergrad and was reapplying to be a Don. I know that sounds like I was seeking to retain my position as some low-budget university mobster for some Italian frat house, but you would be wrong.
A Don was someone who was responsible for running an entire floor in residence, which in this case, consisted of 8 apartments and approximately 4o people.
Duties included things like keeping order when things got out of control (usually I was at the root of the disorder), organizing social activities that revolved around togas and alcohol guzzling apparatus, and ensuring that floor items like the vacuum cleaner didn’t launch themselves out of one of the apartment windows (many an item met its untimely death this way).
I had just completed my first fairly successful year as a Don. Sure my ban on sobriety failed miserably, but otherwise there were no inappropriate acts of conduct on my part. This excludes the time I awoke to find myself being spooned by a statue of Ronald McDonald. I am fairly certain nothing happened, but that big goofy grin it had on its face said otherwise.
As I stood in line with about 30 other Don-wannabes, I got into a rather philosophical conversation with another fellow Don who was also reapplying for a second year of Donship as well.
Before anyone points an accusatory finger, it should be noted I did not start this conversation. I wandered in accidentally. I was neither qualified nor interested in getting involved in any conversations at that time that did not require me to do a shooter afterwords.
Despite my best efforts to keep the conservation as juvenile as possible, it somehow meandered into interview philosophies.
My fellow Don buddy (his name was Dave) asked what my philosophy was when approaching interviews. It was quite embarrassing because I really didn’t have one. For this one in particular, I would have deemed it highly successful if I could get out of the interview without letting out a fart that sounded like I was harbouring a pet duck or throwing up all over myself in the midst of explaining just how responsible I was.
It was evident he did not share my zen-like interview approach. He boldly stated that he went into each and every interview with the mindset that he was going to get the job. He would do all his due diligence in advance. He would research the company, the town, and the people who worked at the company in question.
He prepped questions that might be asked and had well rehearsed but honest and sincere answers to each of those. He rationalized that if he did not get the job, then ultimately, someone had a better interview than he had.
I was, to put it bluntly, blown away and quite frankly embarrassed for a second time.
I took no such approach. I never anticipated what questions would be asked. This was pretty evident from a subsequent question I got at that very same interview I was standing in line for.
I was asked what superhero I would be and why. I gotta be honest when I say, I didn’t see that one coming. Luckily, in times when I’m taken by surprise, my humour chromosome kicks in to bail me out. I confidently stated I would be the still relatively unknown superhero “Garbage man” because he had the ability to talk trash.
Judging by the fact that the 5 interviewers in the room now wore facial expressions like a parent who has just unwrapped a freshly soiled diaper, it was clear they were not impressed with my wit.
Somehow, despite my best efforts to paint myself as a complete idiot, I did manage to retain my Donship for another year.
But I could not shake the conversation I had that day. When I began to peel back some of the layers that were me, I realized that I was the antithesis of what my friend embodied when it came interviews and how I packaged myself. I did virtually no prep. But what was more disturbing was the fact that I would assume I was not going to get the job.
Somehow this ass-backwards logic was supposed to lessen the blow when I didn’t, in fact, get the job.
It was a true revelation for me. I was catering to the lowest common denominator of self-expectation. I mean, if I didn’t think I was going to get the job, why was I applying in the first place. And if I didn’t think I was going to get it, then didn’t this come out in the interview in my body language and the answers I gave.
I was determined that this would never happen to me again.
Fast-forward 2 years later where I am now a certified teacher and seeking my first full-time position. I had just recently moved to Toronto and needed to find a job ASAP. I landed a job interview at a school that ended up being about a 5 minute drive from the place I was now renting.
I went to the school the day before to check it out. I really liked it. It had a great feel. While chatting with the secretary, I had also learned that I was the very last applicant they were interviewing for the position. I was interviewee number 35.
Because I was so close, I walked to the interview the next day. As I made my way there, I recalled the conversation I had two years previous. I was determined to no longer be that guy who set the bar so low, that it would be impossible to trip over it. I was determined to get that job.
I had decided beforehand that my unique selling position was not my education or my experience, but rather my personality. Teaching is really about building relationships. Once students bought into who I was, they would then buy anything I was “selling.”
I also resolved to be myself during the interview. I would answer each question as honestly as I could and not worry if I didn’t have answers to all their questions. I was a beginning teacher after all. I couldn’t possibly have all the answers, so I would need to tap into the experience of my colleagues to help me deal with those situations where I was in over my head.
The result! I kicked ass at that interview and was offered the job. Upon reflection though, it had nothing to do with the quality of my answers. It had more to do with the confidence I exuded. I presented myself like I already had the job.
I laughed comfortably, made jokes when appropriate (no, there were no stupid garbageman jokes), and sat with a posture like I was speaking with friends. I was 100% me.
Thinking about it now, I owe my first job to Dave. In fact, I owe many jobs to him. Had I gone into that interview with the mindset that I was not going to get that job, I am 100% certain I would have made that prediction come true.
What about you…
What areas of your life are you expecting less?
- Maybe it is in your relationships.
- Maybe it is in how you let others treat you.
- Maybe it is in how you express (or don’t express) your ideas.
- Maybe it is in how you avoid taking risks in areas that scare the burgeebers out of you.
- Maybe it is in how you view your intelligence.
- Maybe it is in how you treat yourself when something goes wrong.
- Maybe it is in how much money you feel you deserve to be paid for your work.
Begin the process of trying to identify those areas where you are unknowingly settling for less. Hint: look at those areas of your life you are most unhappy with.
Once you have an area or two, start expecting more and observe to see the transformation that occurs.
Today’s quit task…
Quit expecting less from yourself.
Now that is a damn fine idea worth quitting,
Dean
ps…While I have no problem carrying this mindset into my employment situations, I struggle to remember this in other areas of my life. Drop by the comments section to see some examples of this and add an area you struggle with.
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