| Photo: This is Blake Mycoskie, founder of Toms Shoes. For every pair of shoes they sell they give away one pair to someone in a third world country who doesn’t have shoes. |
Oh yeah! You read that subject line correctly. You are well aware of the work you would really like to do, but life is much safer to simply pretend you don’t.
There I said it. It’s out there. There is no going back on that one now.
A trip back in time…
Before I address that grenade I just lobbed your way, let’s look more closely at how the majority of us end up where we are with the work we do.
We come out of high school as 17 or 18 year olds (I tell people I was 12 just so I can come off as wicked smart) where we are expected to attend some institution of higher learning and commit thousands upon thousands of dollars to a program we aren’t even sure we are going to like.
This is like asking someone to read a whack of profiles on E-harmony and then pick one and fire off a marriage proposal (FYI…don’t bother, it doesn’t work).
This makes absolutely no sense. In fact, it is just downright stupid. We haven’t done anything worthwhile to this point (if you discount the fact we have learned to drink beer out of a funnel) to have even the slightest hint of what we would really like to do and where we feel we could best contribute.
So then we come out of with our degrees or diplomas in hand along with a shit load of debt and end up, in most cases, working in an area that is usually completely unrelated to our degree. And the worse part is that we soon discover that we really don’t like our work all that much.
But then it happens! At some point along the way we become really good at something we really don’t like at all. But we’re not too worried because we tell ourselves we will do this for a few years and then move on to something we really like. Strike 1.
Then we get married, buy a house, hatch a few kids and before we know it, that job we are really good at starts to suck the livin’ life out of us. But it supports the current lifestyle we have created so now we kinda’ feel we are trapped. We feel we have little wiggle room so we languish away, secretly wishing we could do something else. Strike 2.
Before we know it, we have too many years invested in the business (or the business field) and those years are greater than the years remaining before we can retire and reap the rewards of that pension.
And then it happens again. We say, “Well, I will just wait until I retire and then I will do what I really want.” Strike 3.
Does this sound familiar? If it doesn’t, be careful because it will.
Case Study…Making a case against me
I am the perfect example of a poorly planned career.
I finished high school with no idea what I wanted to do. I thought of taking a year off to travel or to enlist in the army (because I mistakenly thought chicks dig dudes with helmets) but in the end fear won out. I was afraid if I did that I might not go back to school and that somehow I would regret that decision.
So university seemed like the logical thing to do because that’s what you needed to get a good job, or so I thought. People fail to mention that it is also our ticket to working with a bunch of white-collar wieners who do nothing but complain…short of like I am doing now.
How did I decide what program to take? I didn’t. My guidance counselor suggested I take maths and sciences because I did well in those areas. Being the mindless hip and happening dude that I was, I stared at him blankly and said, “Ok!” (Note to army: Don’t let me enlist as I would make a lousy POW.)
This didn’t pan out however. It may have something to do with the fact that I didn’t go to class. (Not my fault really. They foolishly expected me to walk 5 minutes to class after a night at the pub. Ah hello! I don’t think so!)
The underlying factor in all that was the mere fact I had no passion for those subjects. Coincidentally, neither did my profs, who often appeared more disinterested than I was.
I switched courses to something I did enjoy-Physical and Health Education, or as my friends liked to point out…gym class.
But while it was somewhat more enjoyable, I again encountered the same problem as high school. About 4 months before graduation I had no idea what the heck I was going to do. I really had only two options as I saw it. Either work in the health and fitness industry or teach.
It’s sad in hindsight that I was so myopic in my views of the opportunities that I thought existed. However, education did exactly what it is supposed to do. It taught me to act and think like an employee and simply follow the crowd.
I chose teaching by default, mainly because 4 years on a university diet (high carbs, zero education) would hinder my ability to wear spandex; it would be like trying to jam a bowling ball into a sock.
I applied and was accepted into teachers college, completed a grueling year of coloring, euker and playing duck duck goose and then stumbled into the teaching profession not knowing a damn thing about teaching.
While I was fortunate that I loved teaching and working with my students, I soon discovered that I was stuck in a system that was about 100 years old and highly ineffective (it succeeds in spite of itself.)
My point? I, like most everyone else, simply let external forces shape who I became. I was a spectator in my own game of life and I was losing the game badly. Life 10, Dean 0.
You know what you really want to do…
Except for a handful of creative spirits out there (Oprah, Seth Godin, Chris Guillebeau, Brian Clark, Leo Babauta, Blake Mycoskie) few of us are really doing what we really want to do.
Many of us will say we like our job, but that is not the same as loving our job and having control over the things we really want to have control of.
If the answer to this question, “If money was no longer an issue, would you continue to work where you do?” is no, then our efforts are being wasted when it comes to building a meaningful life.
It doesn’t mean what we are doing doesn’t have value. It does. It certainly serves some greater purpose to someone. But if we were to sit back and reflect for a moment, where we are now is not even close to where we thought we would be, regardless of how we rationalize it.
So back to my original statement.
Deep down you know what you want to do. It may not be crystal clear, but you do know where you want to be devoting the bulk of your time.
The problem is we think we don’t know how to make it happen so we don’t say or do anything. That, and we are keenly aware that if we did say something, someone out there would make us feel like a jackass for even thinking we could do this “thing”.
So we play it safe and tuck it neatly away like fine China (not the country) for fear it will be shattered.
The BIG problem…
But that is exactly what we SHOULD NOT be doing.
If you don’t talk about it, if you don’t put it out there, then of course nothing happens. We are a miracle thinking society where we think dreams happen magically, which is why lotteries are so prevalent today (and exactly why I don’t play the lottery).
People bank on their dreams being fulfilled by some cosmic stroke of luck. But that is not how we should be looking at fulfilling our dreams. Dreams are about developing a way of self that takes us to new and exciting levels.
That doesn’t happen when luck grants you your wish. Their is nothing character developing about that.
How to build your platform…
If you are truly honest with yourself, you do know what you want to do with your life, so here a few simple steps to get that process started.
1. Spend some time clarifying your vision.
Most of us have a vague idea of what we would like to do. It will be a little fuzzy in nature, as it is for most people before they find their Eureka moment, so it will require some work to bring it into focus.
It took me 7 months to relaunch this blog, but really it took about four weeks of writing out lists and reflecting on ideas to come up with the theme that I really wanted to commit to.
2. Take micro actions
Everyone thinks you have to go big or go home. Do things on a small scale so that if it isn’t quite right you can fail quietly and take another course of action.
3. Talk it
You will have your detractors, but who cares. We have let these suckers define us our whole lives. It’s time to lay a good smack down on em’ (metaphorically speaking of course, unless jail time will give you the time you need to clarify what you really want to do.) by talking about what we want. Things happen when we put stuff out there.
4. Live it…
Before John Grisham was John Grisham the author, he was John Grisham the lawyer (and a bad one by his own account) who wrote from 5am to 9am each morning. You can’t become something without doing something. Steal Grisham’s technique and find time in your day to build your platform.
5. Speak it…
For the longest time I was embarrassed to say I wanted to write and speak and make a difference in people’s lives. I used to think, “Why me? What makes me think I am a writer or a speaker.” To that I now say, “Why not me!” I have begun to incorporate this outlook into my day to day conversations. Caution! Don’t make it the first thing that comes out of your mouth when you first meet someone, otherwise you will come off sounding like Forest Gump and that’s all I have to say about that.
6. Be it…
Use phrases like “I am…” I know that sounds corny but authority comes to those who take it. If we wait for someone to bestow it upon us, well, 20 years from now we will still be wondering what we will do when we grow up.
QuitTwit…
So what have you been putting off? What if you devoted 10 hours a week for the next year towards something you really wanted to do? After 520 hours where do you think you might be. I will tell you this… a lot further along then you were if you put in 0 hours.
To spreading ideas worth quitting,
